Living the Tug-of-War Between Mental Health and Mental Illness: Thank you, Johnny and Amber!
I bristle when I hear the words “mental illness” in conversation. The struggle with the stigma is reinforced when people toss out words without taking time to pause on the bridge of communication with perception-conveyance. I imagine the progress made for mental health literacy is being severely trampled on at the moment.
I just returned home last week after spending an extended amount of time with my kids in another state. I spent six months there, living with my son while commuting almost daily to help my youngest daughter. I often wonder, though I have shared with them all, what their response would be when they finally dive into my articles. My son has certainly been attracted to the conflict between Johnny and Amber.
More than one of my children struggles with a host of mental health conditions. More than one of my children can hold their own when it comes to mental health advocacy. We have had countless discussions about mental health conditions. Some of them, I’ve argued with my youngest daughter for her win, can be called mental illness, but I really want to convey-there is a difference!
For a baseline, let’s establish (yes, I know there are some powerful arguments out there for this debate and I welcome them) that health overall is a spectrum. You may be asked on a health questionnaire how you would describe your health. Most don’t bother to ask about physical health, or mental health, much less ask for the full personal spectrum of spiritual, financial, and everything-else-sort-of-health.
A personal spectrum requires an ability to see ourselves as the pieces to the puzzle for our overall health. If we aren’t doing well with our finances, we’re going to be stressed and have trouble making decisions. If we are spiritual but lack a place to feel at home, we will face feelings of wanderlust and being displaced. If our relationships aren’t getting proper attention, we may face bouts of depression and anger trying to balance and find common grounds to be happy in our relationships. It is easier to acknowledge the two most prominent ways we view our health is through evaluation of our mental and physical health.
Now we can talk about the spectrum. And, no. I’m not talking about the autism spectrum. I’m referring to the fact that there is a need to understand the spectrum of right versus left, healthy versus unhealthy, and good versus bad mental health. When you can accurately understand mental health you will reach a level of understanding that mental illness challenges mental health, but every mental health diagnosis doesn’t automatically carry with it mental illness. Just replace the phrase physical health and physical illness by putting the word mental in place of the word physical. That should plant the seed of understanding and is a concept shared by Christopher M. Palmer, MD, director of McLean’s Department of Postgraduate and Continuing Education.
Mental health considers the way we think, act, and feel in our daily lives. As with all things, we need balance. My daughter (and myself) understand balance quite well having been diagnosed with bipolar. While I am not ashamed, and for the most part, neither is she, we both shake our heads in the ongoing battle between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. We have our struggles, sure, but as my daughter shared with a laugh, we’ve never pooped in someone’s bed.
“Oh, great! So now THAT is something people will attribute when hearing us associate ourselves with bipolar disorder!” She laughs through the phone at me as I groan.
The more practice I’ve had at pushing the boulder to the middle of the scale, the better I’ve become at managing my disorders but I still don’t like the stigma of being labeled mentally ill. If we sat down for a discussion, we would find countless comparisons in strengths and weaknesses between any two individuals. I can’t sing, but that doesn’t mean I’m vocally ill. You can’t speed read but that doesn’t make you illiterate.
Okay, I can’t either. That just means we aren’t illiterate.
Mental Illness is something that is associated with depression, schizophrenia, and a much longer list. Just as we might experience a cold or the flu, it isn’t always permanent. We can take steps to be mindful of our own mental health, and take action to be healthy. Rest, breaks, work-life balance, and so much more is needed in our daily routines.
Nevertheless, there is absolutely zero shame to be associated with taking medications for our mental health. Some conditions will require a person to be medicated for the rest of their life. Don’t self-medicate and risk the welfare of you or your family. We can be thankful for ongoing research and holistic therapies as well, but we have to reach out to the professionals for this.
One of my children actually told me to be prepared because some days the battle to keep the scales balanced was too intense to endure, and they felt the day fast approaching when I would finally get the call. I would be lying if I didn’t say it isn’t a nightmare I have had on multiple occasions with more than one of my children
While I would love to let loose and snap at the insensitivity in light of my own mental health struggles, I pray for the strength to come to them to surpass their suicidal ideations and finally stand at the center of the scale. I would love to scream at them for their callous disregard for my own triggers — but that wouldn’t benefit them. Nor would it do anything positive for me. I continue to endure my own nightmares as I listen and know they are advocating for their own mental health. As a family, we have an understanding of the need to support one another as well as speak up when we aren’t strong enough and pass someone on to another family member and their own mental health team.
Mental health and mental illnesses are a part of each and every one of us on the face of the earth. It has zero ability to pick on someone due to their age, race, income, or gender.
I love the quote from Facebook, on Stepping stones:
“The thing with all mental health disorders is that none of them define the entire person. Although their symptoms might impair their ability to do things others are able to do, they still have areas of strength and competence. Whenever we talk about health versus illness, it’s always important to remember this.”
–Christopher M. Palmer, MD, Director of McLean’s Department of Postgraduate & Continuing Education
Dr. Palmer doesn’t run to call anything “mental illness” but a mental health disorder.
I have a heart disorder, too.
Okay, I added that last bit in jest because we have to suggest something to get people to stop calling everything mental illness.
Folks, advocate for your own mental health. Men, take heed of Johnny Depp’s shameless presence regarding the abuse he has endured. Too many men suffer in silence feeling their manhood judged. Make no mistake when it comes to identifying his own behaviors as being abusive. We can thank attorneys for the courtroom argument that being under the influence of something suggests you aren’t accountable.
Johnny? Man. Leave the substances alone and find a mental health companion. They are a lot like sponsors in all of the -anon’s you find out there, and they will tell you when you are being an ass without being an ass themselves.
And Amber? Thank you for providing a poster image of the face of a woman using victimology to corner someone under the label of abuse.
We all have glass houses so let’s focus on our own mental health. It’s called boundaries and respect.
And it will always win out in the end.
What are your thoughts on this carnival ride? Share them in the comments below.
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Have a healthy day and enjoy your life’s journey!
