Seeking Freelance Parents
Unlimited demand, untapped potential — Needed immediately
You’re out there. I know you are. You can get absolutely anything on the internet these days, so why not Parents?
*Call Center phone rings and is answered. The buzzing of a voice comes through the receiver as the agent listens*
Thank you for calling! You’re a new parent? Well, then, the freelance parent you need is one who’s already learned the patience and value of cuddling and rocking the sick child. They know exactly how many band-aids are going to be needed for that pinprick you can’t see, but won’t relieve you of your child’s screams. There are thousands of them out there that have learned exactly what is needed to clean the vomit and diarrhea from the carpet. They know how to lay patiently with the fussy, irritated little toddler that can’t stand you to touch them because they are convinced you are the reason they just don’t feel right. It doesn’t matter that “feeling right” is something they take for granted until they don’t. Feel right, that is.
*Gentle buzz is heard from the receiver as the agent listens again*
Ah, so you have the preschooler and the kindergartener! Okay (confident chuckle). I can see how I mistook “new parent” for “new” parent. You have several. That’s a new skill set but we can plug that in. The parent you want is…
